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Our Daughters, #survivingRKelly

As many of you know, the three part series of Surviving R. Kelly aired this past weekend and boy, oh boy was it an eye opener. The documentary should have provoked conversation on all levels and all platforms. I have so many mixed emotions about what I saw that I actually had to take time to digest it all. I want us, y’all and me, to have a healthy conversation about this and what is going. Below is my opinion and feelings about the documentary and also about the culture as a whole. Please leave your comments, opinions, and feelings on the topic as well and let’s have a conversation about this.

My Opinion and Feelings

As I prepared to watch the documentary, I went into it with an non-biased opinion. I do not know R. Kelly’s music that well, maybe like 4 or 5 songs, and I wasn’t a big fan either. I’ve never attended a concert, bought an album, or kept up with him as an entertainer. In fact, I remember learning about him, either when I was about to graduate or had already graduated from high school, from the news that broke of him and a sex tape with an underage girl. Musically, I know him from his Trapped in the Closet series, Step In The Name of Love, Ignition remix, and Contagious with Ron Isley. Other than those songs, I can’t say that I know his music unless somebody plays something and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I know that song!” With that being said, here are my thoughts.

The documentary saddened me and broke my heart.

Saddened: I am saddened by this because there was clear neglect with R. Kelly and his childhood. When traumatic things happen to us as children and they aren’t dealt with, they can cause us to create an unintentional block on certain things in life and how we react to situations. With the child abuse that R. Kelly suffered as a child, it’s very clear that there is a disconnect between him and his actions with these women. It also saddens me that R. Kelly and his brothers didn’t feel confident, comfortable, or secure enough in their mother to tell her what was going on. We need to teach our children that telling isn’t wrong and it isn’t snitching. We have to let our children know that they can’t be muted when something wrong happens and that they can trust their parents.

Heartbroken: I am heartbroken because the cycle is nonstop. Things like this happen in everyday life, no fame included, and we are not acknowledging or speaking out about it. It’s as if we have lost sight that our daughters, sisters, nieces, etc. are of importance. Parents, we must always talk to our young girls and love them unconditionally. We must not be scared to talk to them about subjects such as this, when they are young. Our young girls are growing and developing so fast, and for that reason we should feel compelled to have these conversations with them the moment they are able to recite lyrics to songs that inappropriate. We should start talking to them the minute they start to put sentences together and the minute they start to make friends in school and can come home and tell you about this person or that person. They are no longer too young at that point. You don’t know what those kids talk about in school and not all kids are raised the same way. We must do more with verbalizing the rights and wrongs of society to our children, boys included. We should not let fame, money, and the enticement of social media raise our children. These girls and women are damaged, I can’t even begin to fathom how to cope with something like this.

It is my hope that anyone who is suffering currently or has suffered in the past, to reach out for help. It is never too late to get help and talk to someone. Abuse comes in all forms and should not be taken lightly.

What are you thoughts? Comment below.