I came across a woman the other day and we were casually talking and then in the middle of our conversation she asked me, “how old I was and if I am married?” I responded, “31 and oh, no ma’am I’m not married!” Then she said, “well I hope he puts a ring on it very soon, you’re a great catch.” I followed that up with, “oh I’m not in a relationship.” Her next question to me, “do you have children?” Again, my response, “I have a goddaughter!” Then she asked what was wrong with me. My mouth dropped to the floor and she immediately tried to dress it up with a joking response, but the damage had already been done then.
Too many times, I hear people’s shock behind meeting women and men who are 30+, single, no kids, independent, and living life. I have never really been able to wrap my mind around what the issue is with that type of status. Does it give me a scarlet letter? Does it make me less than? Does it mean that I’m untouchable at this age/point? Honestly, I really need to know. Why is it such an issue for those of you who are not like this?
I personally enjoy being 30+, single, and childless. I get the opportunity to live my life and live it freely. I have friends who have children and I see the hard work, hard times, sacrifices, and sleepless nights that they have to endure; honestly, that’s not for me at this point in my life. Selfish? Sure, I’ll take that. I like being able to do what I want, when I want without having to count on others. This is NOT, I repeat, this is NOT a bash to single women with children or to women who are married with children. This is just simply me expressing the pros of why I’m happy with my life. I enjoy being able to get up and go at the drop of a hat without having to make arrangements. I enjoy spending my money on me and spoiling those around me because I WANT to, not because I have to. I enjoy being FREE! Freedom is a prized possession. I love the fact that I can just be spontaneous. My FOOD, whew chiiilee, let’s talk about the food. I LOVE the fact that I don’t have to share food, but I love it even more that I don’t have to WASTE MONEY on food either. I love to eat and I love my snacks; one thing I do not like is SHARING my food.
Of course one my desires is to have a family and be married. I would love nothing more than to be a mother and a wife, but who says I have to do it now? I believe timing is everything and when it’s supposed to happen, it will happen. I’m not looking to rush anything. I’ll know when I’m ready.
To those of you who can’t understand how we can be 30+, single, with no kids can you please explain why it is perplexing? I really would like to know. I would love to hear your perspective. Then I’d like for you to tell me how you’d feel if the roles were reversed and you were in my shoes, keeping in mind the things you’ve gone through as a mother.
Things to consider:
Remember we don’t know everyone’s story. Some people may be in these situations because of things out of their control. Try not to be judgmental, instead embrace us. We’re all fighting a battle that no one knows about and words, like the conversation I had with the lady, can really hurt.
Your RUSH HOUR Shotgun -Kerri!